Quitting is Necessary (and sometimes good)
Reframing what it means to "finish." Also, enter the GIVEAWAY to win a copy of one of my books!
I’m just guessing here, but I’ll bet a lot of us got launched into the adult world with the idea that you should “finish what you started” and “follow through”—and the converse: that one should not “give up” or “quit” or skip from thing to thing without “committing.” I know, that’s a lot of quotation marks. But I’m putting those words in quotation marks because I’m really freaking tired of all the bullshit value judgments attached to them.
At this point in my life, I’m not supposed to be starting over, let alone starting over after starting over once already (or twice, depending how we’re counting). On a macro level, I’m on my third full-on career (first: music, second: nursing, third: writing); and on the daily level, I’m about to start over on the book I’m writing. I’ve spent a year and a half struggling to unearth this story about this character who I bonded with almost instantly, and even though I am only like thirty pages from the end, it’s looking very likely that I’m shelving it and starting something else. At least for now.
I can’t say I’m not sad. I want to do justice to this woman who has lived in my head all this time. I want to tell her story. But I feel like I’ve hit a wall, and there’s another story calling.
So I’ve been working to reframe this idea of what it means to “complete” something, to “finish.”
Maybe finishing something means we got out of it what we wanted or needed, at least for now, and we’re ready to move on. Maybe “quitting” is actually freeing up space to do the thing that is more nourishing and true to who we are. Maybe doggedly working away to finish something just for the sake of finishing is actually a failure to listen to one’s finely-tuned creative guidance system. And a waste of the limited hours of life.
And maybe it’s necessary to let a story lie fallow sometimes. Maybe it’ll sit on the metaphorical shelf for a year or two before I finally land on the right way to tell it. That’s what happened with both Johanna Porter is Not Sorry and Principles of (E)motion. Maybe that’s just my process. Maybe it really does take me 300K words of drafting to wind up with an 80K word novel. And maybe my process requires quitting partway through.
Maybe I will have a long, beautiful career where all my books will get written, then shelved, then rewritten, and will leap-frog one another again and again, and fighting that process only slows things down.
The point I’ve come to is this: It’s most important to tune out the noise and listen to oneself; then do the thing that leads to more growth, more engagement in life, and a sense of inner rightness. Even if that thing is to quit.
***GIVEAWAY***
Reply to this newsletter and tell me something you’re glad you quit in your life. I will pick TWO respondents to win a signed and personalized copy of Johanna Porter is Not Sorry or Principles of (E)motion. US shipping only, but if you live outside the US and are willing to pre-pay the shipping, I am happy to count your entry. I’m looking forward to hearing from you!
Books Make Great Gifts :)
Consider a copy of Johanna Porter is Not Sorry for the book-lovers on your list. Or a pre-order of Principles of (E)motion which releases January 9. If you order from Bluebird Bookstop or Fountain Bookstore I can sign and personalize for whomever you like.
If you are in the Central Virginia area, mark your calendars for January 9, 7pm at Bluebird & Co. in Crozet, VA! We are planning a Book Birthday Party for the release of Principles of (E)motion. This date falls in the same week as my birthday, and the birthdays of at least three others in attendance. So expect cake and bubbly!
What I’m Reading
I have started to read Sun Seekers, Rachel McRady’s debut novel about a little girl who springs her beloved grandpa from the nursing home where he suffers from increasing dementia. They go on an adventure… much to the distress of the girl’s mother who has none too good a relationship with her father.
I’m so impressed by the way this author writes the child’s point of view. Children are so hard to write in a way that is both believable and relatable to adult readers, and McRady does a marvelous job with this quirky, intelligent girl trying to make sense of the adults around her.
I will be Rachel McRady’s conversation partner at Fountain Bookstore in Richmond, Virginia, January 11 for the release of this marvelous book.
From the Craft Bookshelf
If you are a writer, you might enjoy my other Substack, Creative Work (Is Real Work). Through it, I hope to help writers both beginning and advanced make the fragmented archipelago of a creative process built around a life full of other obligations a little more navigable. Approximately weekly opinion, commiseration, tools, tips, links of interest, and community.
My Author Coaching Services
Similar to book coaching, I offer a combination of editorial support, help navigating the path of traditional publication, as well as guidance in building one's personal toolbox both as a writer and a human to help you through the often grueling, sometimes transcendent writing life.
If you or someone you know needs help with a work of fiction, or figuring out how to approach traditional publishing, please reach out. I’m very flexible, from an hour chat-consult to a full manuscript overhaul. For more information go to my author coaching page.
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Sara, I found the pod you recently did with Bianca Marais and this post on quitting, particularly timing. In the pod, I was anxious to hear what your top craft book recommendations were on structure. Unfortunately, that question didn't come up, but I'd love to know. However, after listening, I've decided to reframe how I think about what I've written over the past 3 years, not as a failed attempt at a book, but as two books that need to be cleaved from each other and revised appropriately. You gave me hope :) Thanks for that and any craft book reccos are most welcome.